The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz ~ Agreement #2 ~ Don’t Take Anything Personally
(For a history of The Four Agreements, please read my first blog.)
In terms of career coaching, Don’t take anything personally, the second agreement, is one I use the most frequently. How often are we devastated by a boss’s reaction to something we have done or said? Or, it could be something your partner, child, or friend said. You take it personally because you agree with whatever was said. As soon as you agree, the poison goes through you. We give our power away in fear of not measuring up to someone else’s standards. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. People react to situations based on their opinions and perceptions. Often we make the assumption that everything is about me. Letting go of that and seeing that everyone comes at life from their own specific direction can feel very freeing. Instead of reacting, you can come back to your own center, the home inside of you, and move from there. It may take deep breathing, walking, or praying, but you can do it. Then when you move forward, it is with integrity and grace. Otherwise, it is too easy to get into the unending struggle of who is right and who is wrong.
A long time ago, I was so devastated by what my boss said, that I left the office reeling. It was a physical and emotional sensation of being out of control and enraged. Instead of finding my center, returning to this person, and speaking the truth, I was full of fear. To this day, I regret having taken the conversation personally. I share this in the hope that someone in a similar situation will instead consider using the wisdom of the second agreement. (Next blog – continue with Agreement #2)